Experiment #1

     She sat on the swing, gently swaying back and forth, her ears deaf to the raucous sound of squealing children, and to their parents' frequent calls to be careful. She only had ears for one thing, and one thing only.
     "'I'm sad, and I really hope that the rose bush over there starts reading my mind again. I really need someone to talk to.'" the rose bush announced.
     "Yeah, pretty much." she said drearily.
     "'Oh yay. Someone's finally talking to me.'" the rose bush continued.
     The girl smiled, her day was already brightening, she loved that rose bush dearly, it was her best friend.
     "Oh for the love of God, I can't take it anymore!" the rose bush declared.
     The girl quickly whirled her head to face the bush, "I wasn't thinking that!"
     "Yes you were," the rose bush said, "I'm here to read the minds of kids having fun, not an angsty seventeen-year-old who thinks that not having a boyfriend is the worst thing that could possibly happen to a person!"
     "Wait, you're alive? I mean, you're thinking?" she asked.
     "No, you are." The bush responded, "A plant can't think, are you crazy? You're beating yourself up over this, all I do is read minds. Now get off that swing set and go find an actual human being to talk to. Heaven knows there are over seven and a half billion of them to choose from!"
     The girl scrambled away, after all, how could she possibly argue with herself.